Don't you ever say never to me
by Jojoy
Summary: I firmly believe that summaries ruin everything. So let's just say there's another case to solve for R and I. AND...you can feel the love, yesss you can! :  Give it a chance!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1.

"Thank you darling, for the lovely dinner…and company, of course".

When Maura's mother met Jane's eyes, her irritating fake smile faded into something terribly similar to a disgusted grin.

Maura didn't seem to notice the harsh glance exchange between the two of them, as she was too busy hiding her disappointment.

Her mother was leaving.

She was staying at the Ritz.

She hadn't even eaten the dessert, for Christ's sake!

_"Why am I so surprised_?" Maura asked herself "_It's not like I expected her to change from one day to another. Cold, classy, smart, snob. That's what she is. And I'm just like her…"._

"I'll see you mother", Maura managed to say without sobbing, "have a nice evening. Bonsoir".

And with those formal greetings, dinner was over.

Jane, who had been watching the whole scene still sitting at the table, didn't need to be closer to understand what Maura was feeling: she had become good at reading her face expressions. Well, truth be told, she'd been watching her a lot lately…and not only her face…oh God.

"Well girls.." her mother's high-pitched voice interrupted Jane's filthy thoughts "I gotta get going. I'm knackered, and ma' boy is waiting for me".

She kissed Jane goodbye, hugged Maura, and vanished in the blink of an eye.

"I think it's so cute, this film-thing that Frankie and your mother have sometimes. I've always envied these kind of…family traditions".

"Yeah, ask Frankie…he's SO excited". Jane tried to make a joke, but she could see her friend was very serious about this.

She seemed like…really disappointed in herself. She didn't like that at all.

How could someone so perfect and kind be treated like that was beyond her comprehension.

In the meanwhile, Maura had begun cleaning the kitchen. She had to do something, she needed a distraction: from her mother behaviour and…from the stunning brunette that was standing with a tired face in her kitchen. "_Okay. You need to stop this Maura, you can't use those adjectives to describe your best friend. Who's a girl. A work partner. Not to mention a sexy-as-hell cop…_

_Oh god, am I going crazy?"._

"Mau! Mau! Please have some rest".

Dr Isles had been too wrapped up in her own thoughts to notice Jane moving towards her.

"Sorry, I dozed off...".

"Yeah, I noticed that".

Then Jane covered Maura's hand with her own, in order to stop her frenetic activity. She was successful, Maura was petrified by the touch.

Jane smiled at her, knowing she had now her full attention. Then she saw how late it was getting..

"Gosh, it's late. I should go".

"Stay".

Jane looked at her, confused.

"I mean…I don't want you to drive alone, when it's so dark outside already. Plus, you've been drinking. You know, statistically, car crashes are...".

"Okay, stop it, I'll stay Jane interrupted Maura's mumbling. Thanks for worrying, by the way".

"I wasn't" replied Maura.

"Oh yes, you were".

"Okay, maybe. It's not my fault I'm interested in mumbers. It's such a burden, sometimes, being smart…".

"And modest, too".

They chuckled, and Jane wished that little peaceful moment never ended. She had managed to distract her from the sad thoughts running through her mind and couldn't help feeling a bit…proud for it. And special, too.

"Okay, detective, let's go upstairs, but tomorrow I want you to help me cleaning this mess".

"I will. Now let's go, doc. You look like you could use some sleep".

"Definitely".

They moved upstairs, in Maura's room, which was quite familiar to Jane. That big, comfy bed was waiting for her to collapse on it, but she had to be the gentleman.

"I can sleep on the floor, it's not a problem, really…".

"Don't be silly, Jane. There's enough space for the two of us in there. Plus, it's not like we have never shared a bed before…you know, the night…".

"The night he was looking for me…".

"I'm sorry, honey, I shouldn't have mentioned that".

"'s okay, Mau. It's over now".

Jane sit down on the bed, not without hesitation. She remembered to take her shoes off, knowing it would have upset Maura if she didn't.

Maura joined her after putting her glamorous silk pyjamas on (in the bathroom and not in front of you, bad luck Jane…).

The two of them remained shush for a while, lost in their own thoughts, silently enjoying each other's company and –secretly, maybe unconsciously- their bodies proximity.

When Jane noticed Maura's worried expression, she broke the silence.

"What's the matter, hun? You know you can tell me". She felt the urge to be close to her, so she moved.

"I know. I know I can trust you, Jane. It's nothing really…

I'm just…I'm afraid".

"Of what?".

"Of being just like my mom is".

"And…how is she?".

"Like you don't know. Ice cold, bitchy, does that ring a bell?

I'm afraid I'll never be able to love someone, to truly care for someone in my life because of her. The only thing she ever taught me is how to be so…polite. I hate this".

"Mau, how can you say something like this?".

Jane was beginning to worry about what her friend was saying…so she moved closer, and courageously stroked her cheek. "_God, that is soft indeed_…".

"You're not your mother. You're sweet, and affectionate. You care for everyone in the office. Frost, Korsak, they all love you to pieces. How could they not, you are so kind with them, always wearing that big, bright smile of yours. And you treat my mother like she's actually a normal human being, and not a totally crazy, hysterical woman in menopause. You care about a lot of people, you do".

She tried to convince her, gently caressing her shoulder. She had never been good at comforting people. But that was Maura hurting: she had to do something.

"I care about you. You know that, right?".

Jane was taken aback by the sudden sincerity. And flattered, too.

"Yeah. How can I forget?". She blushed slightly.

"Thank you, Jane. You really are helping me a lot. But now…time for sleep! I don't want to annoy you any further".

"You're never annoying me. Well okay, maybe when you refuse to call blood those fucking red-browned things, but, apart from that…".

"Stop it, silly!". Maura hit her lightly on the shoulder, sending shivers through her skin.

"Oi! It hurts!". Jane smiled genuinely. The sparkle in her friend's eyes was back, and, even if she was aching to be closer to her, to touch her like and hold her like she had never done before, that fact was the only thing that mattered. Maura was okay.

After that little exchange, lights were turned off.

"Night Jane. I love you".

"Yeah, me too".

That night Jane couldn't sleep. She was too close, Maura's scent was intoxicating.

And she said she cared about her. That she _loved_ her..

"_God, what the hell are you doing to me, Mara Isles_?".


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2.

Jane woke up, only to find out she was alone in Maura's bed. Not a very appealing outcome, since all she really wished for was to wake up tangled up in her.

She yawned noisily and went to the bathroom to refresh herself a little, then put on the largest t-shirt she could find in Maura's wardrobe. It wasn't easy. "_God bless her, how many dresses does she have?_".

It was a restless night, she managed to get some sleep only by 5 am.

Smelling something that seemed like coffee, Jane moved downstairs more willingly. She couldn't function if she didn't drink at least a cuppa.

"Morning, Jane".

A fresh Maura, in what seemed to be a very good mood, greeted her with a smile. Jane felt like she was melting inside, it was a lot better than caffeine. Maura was busy making pancakes, wearing an apron decorated with flowers, her hair in a bun.

What was better than waking up finding the perfect woman, wearing the cutest outfit, making the most exquisite breakfast?

"_If this is how heaven will be, I want to die soon"_ muttered Jane.

"Jane, dear, have you said something?".

"Nah, just mumbling disconnected sentences. I'm like that in the mornings. Not like you are, by the way. Why do you always look like you fucking won at the lottery?".

"I didn't. Who won at the lottery?" said Maura, confused.

"Gosh, Mau, I was kidding. It was a metaphor. A way to say you look…cheerful, and refreshed. I suppose they didn't teach you how to understand a compliment between the lines at that college of yours?".

"Not really. There was a class of Biochemistry though, where we had to…"

Jane shot her the "Please-don't-go-Google-on-me" look.

"Okay. I'll stop, got the message. Thank you, Jane. For the compliment, I mean…

You look like you've been just hit by a car". Maura giggled.

"Oi, Isles, watch your tongue!". They chuckled.

"You're right though, I quite look like shit. I couldn't sleep".

"What's the matter?" Maura asked, adding gently "Please take a sit, breakfast's ready".

"Nothing, just thoughts…" said Jane, while sitting at the table. She started devouring her pancake as soon as Maura joined her bringing the food and the beloved coffee.

"Someone's hungry here!" said Maura, politely eating her breakfast, paying attention not to dirt anything. "If this can make you feel better, I think those dark circles you gained give you a more mysterious look".

"Charming. Stop taking the piss and gimme that syrup, Mau".

"Hey, I was serious! And I'm the one who doesn't understand compliments? There you are, missy. Try not to eat the table, though, when you are finished with those".

Their hands brushed slightly when Maura handed her the syrup, and if Jane hadn't been so concentrated on behaving herself, trying to fight the urge to jump her friend right in the middle of the kitchen (how inappropriate, Jane), she would have maybe noticed the way Maura gulped hard at the contact.

"So…" said Maura in an attempt to change the subject "what kind of thoughts have kept you awake during the night, Zombie?".

"_No thoughts, just your skin that seems to burn mine, even if you don't touch me at all" _Jane's heart would have responded. Instead, her more reliable brain came up with: "There's something wrong with this kid Bryan, I'm not fully convinced by his confession".

"I don't know, Jane. Maybe you're seeing to much in it".

"Yeah, maybe…you know I'm always over-thinking".

Bryan was a twenty-five years old man they just got arrested for the murder of his twenty-two years old wife. A bad story, really. He fully confessed, but there was something in her eyes…maybe Maura was right, she was being paranoid over it. She hated when fragile women were beaten up by those who –in theory- should have been the ones who cared about them the most.

"How a man could have the guts to kill his own wife is just something I'll never get".

"Yeah, I know it's a paradox".

It was only when Maura agreed with her that Jane understood she must have been expressing her opinions out loud.

"But you know jealousy is one of the most dangerous, irrational feeling that the human race experiments. It's something that goes beyond any chemical, scientific explanation. I mean, we know there are some specific hormones that intervene, but the whole process is still not clear. Like the photosynthesis, you know…".

"But Maura…I'm not a doctor, I've been taught how to reason as a cop. I've been taught how to read their expressions, how to push them, how to force them to spill out all their true feelings. And I couldn't see the hate in his eyes. I've never notice rage, or satisfaction for what he has done to her. It's like he's been…forced to do it".

"I know it's tough, but Jane…all the details corresponds…and he perfectly described how he shoot her, from how much distance, in which room of the house, and when. We even got the gun with his prints. Maybe it was a rush moment, he was really angry and now he's just…sorry for what he has done?".

"Yeah, you're probably right".

"I always am. And, since we solved this case earlier than we were expected to, we can both take a bit of time off". Maura tried to cheer her up.

"It's just a day, Maura. But yeah…I s'pose that's positive. I've never had a day off in years".

"Any particular plans?".

"Nothing really…just a long, looooong nap". Jane said, pleased with the idea.

"You are as lazy as a grizzly bear sometimes, you know?".

"What about your plans, Doctor?".

"I think I'm going out and run a bit. Helps me relaxing, you know. And then, I've got this date with Mark hanging on…but I don't know if I want to go".

Bang.

Jane hardly managed to keep all her hurt to herself. God, that was unexpected.

Well, not really. Maura went out a lot, usually with different men who she dumped just after the first, unsuccessful date. But every time she told her she would have seen someone, it was like Jane got stabbed by a particularly sharp dagger. She wanted to be _that _someone so badly.

"Who's this Mark?".

"Just a man".

"Very precise. How's he? What does he do for a living?".

"Tax code? Why does it sound like you're giving me a third degree?". Maura asked her, something Jane couldn't quite decipher in her eyes. Confusion, maybe.

"You know I'm a nosy cop, Mau!" she joked.

Maura was disappointed…she had thought that maybe_…"C'mon, that's not possible, she's just worried. As a friend. Because we are…friends"._

"He's just a guy I met at the bar near the office a week and a half ago. Very polite. Clean. Big moustaches".

"The portrait of the perfect man" muttered Jane.

Stop this sarcasm thing right now Jane, you know how it bothers me, and half of the time I don't even get it properly".

"And you love me for it".

Maura stiffened at the words. _"Yes I do…God…where did it come from?"._

"Sorry Maura. Sometimes I just can't help it. It's just you don't seem so…excited about seeing him".

"That's because I don't know if I'm interested. I mean…he's not different from the other average men I've been with in these last months. And if they haven't worked…why he would be different? Maybe I should just accept the undeniable truth that I'm destined to be alone". Maura concluded, sadly.

"What on earth are you talking about? You deserve someone, it's just… there are not many men out there who deserve _you. _Is that clear? Now go, run, then put a pretty dress on and have lunch with this…Mark. I bet you two we'll have a wonderful time".

"You sure?". _"Please tell me you're lying to me. Please tell me you don't want me to go. Please, Jane"._

"Yeah, 'course. C'mon, get your skinny ass outta here, Isles. Go get your man!".

"Maybe you're right".

"I always am".

"No, that's me".

"Yeah, you nearly fooled me. I'm going home, now. Don't want to put off my nap any longer. I'll see you in the afternoon if you're not…busy with Mark".

"Yeah, I'll ring you when I'm done. It shouldn't be long, he's free only until 3 pm".

"Perfect, I'm going upstairs".

"Yeah..".

Jane left her sitting alone at the table. What Maura didn't notice were the tears of frustration Jane had unshed just after she walked away from her.

"_Maybe this lunch is a good thing. I need to stop thinking about her, even if it is for a couple of hours…"._ Not fully convinced, Maura left her apron on the chair, put on her running shoes and just got out of the house. Away from Jane. Away from complicated thoughts she just wasn't ready to comprehend. Not yet.


	3. Chapter 3

**Here's the third one for you, and a few words. **

**For those who are actually reading this, thank you. **

**It must be difficult to bear witness to my ink-rumblings! But I've got a good story in my head, so it doesn't seem right not to write it down.**

I think this chapter is bad news.

**-Please don't hate me?-**

**Disclaimer: I don't own R and I. But I'm saving to buy them. :P Just gimme some time and you'll see.**

Chapter 3.

Jane woke up suddenly, with a throbbing headache devouring her from the inside. She had been crying, no sense in denying it. How could she not, when her dreams were filled by blurred images of Maura and Mark laughing together, kissing hungrily?

Plus, she had been sleeping on the couch, so her back hurt. (Very clever like always, Jane).

She got a look at the clock hanging on the wall in the living room.

4 p.m.

She checked her phone. No missed calls. No messages.

"_Something isn't quite right". _

Maura hadn't contacted her yet, and if there was a thing her friend was obsessed with (amongst the other million of her manias, actually) was punctuality.

She always used to blame her when she was late, even if it was just a matter of minutes. She didn't like to be kept waiting. "Wasting time is a sin, Jane", that's what she once told her.

Not worrying about the creepy fact that she remembered almost every word Maura said to her, Jane decided she had to stop being paranoid. Maura had her own life, it wasn't like she orbited around her like a fucking satellite. She could do things…without her. At least, that's what she hoped.

Maura and her had been best friends for a while now, so there wasn't anything particularly wrong or weird in enjoying her company. Recently though, something had changed. Jane was desperate to spend time with her. It wasn't even about _doing _something together, it was about feeling her presence.

Whenever she thought about this unexplainable need, she realised she had begun thinking about Maura like she was some kind of drug. Like she was –let's say- _addicted _to her.

There was something about her scent that made her tremble with affection. Lavender had been nothing but a pleasant and very ordinary aroma, back in the days, but it was now one of her favourite perfumes ever. Smelling it in the air whenever she went to the office in the morning, feeling it attaching her skin whenever Jane was near Maura…it made her feel both high and uneasy.

Jane didn't like the idea, so she usually tried to push away those thoughts, without giving them the importance that they perhaps deserved.

But it was becoming more and more difficult every day…she didn't fully understand what was happening to her.

And Jane Rizzoli hated not being in control of the situation.

Even though she still managed to distract herself from Maura now and then, she couldn't help worrying about her safety: Jane was a cop, it was in her DNA. Or was she growing possessive over her?

"_No"_ she decided "_it's not like that. Plus, if she were all right, she would have called me to put off our plans. Nothing's wrong in checking"._ (Yeah Jane, keep lying to yourself. You miss her, you're jealous of this Mark guy and it scares the shit out of you).

So it was settled: she would have pop up in the bar she knew they were having lunch -just to have a look around. She didn't even need Maura to know. (Or you don't want her to think you're crazy?).

She brushed her teeth, put her leather jacket on (it was freezing outside) and went out with Joe Friday. _"If Maura notices my presence, I'll justify myself by saying I was just having a walk with the dog"._ (Jane you're so lame sometimes it doesn't even seem possible).

So, all wrapped up in her old scarf, fighting the wind and the light snow that had begun falling, Jane entered her car and went straight to the café: she didn't do compromise. All or none. Once she had a target, she was unstoppable.

She and Joe Friday stopped a few meters away from the bar.

In a first moment, Jane didn't want to go out in the street: the risk Maura would see her was too high. So she pulled out her loyal binocular –which she always kept in her car- and tried to spot Maura in the café. She was anywhere to be seen.

When an old woman covered in wrinkles passed her by and shot her a suspicious look, Jane contemplated the idea of going home and minding her own business: being arrested for stalking wasn't in her priorities list. However, her instinct was telling her there was something going on, and it had the better of her (like always).

"C'mon you flea-ridden dog, let's get out of here".

Slowly, Jane approached the bar, Joe following her close behind. When she arrived at a point where she could clearly see the main café window facing the street, and all the people in, she had the confirm her instinct had been right. She could see Maura's pink bag and two coats on the two chairs, at the table where they had lunch. But know, both chairs were empty. _"They must still be inside" _Jane concluded.

(Now maybe you have two things you'd like to ask Jane.

1-How did she know it was _her _table?

That's easy, yay! Because Maura loved to sit near the window. She was always grumbling about how interesting it was to watch people passing by, reasoning on their different stories, commenting their outfits. Yeah, sometimes she was creepy like that. But you get used to her, I promise.

2-Also, how did she know it was her bag?

Because…well, let's Jane was very inquisitive. VERY.)

3- Last but not least: c'mon girl, how can you not know that you are fully, unconditionally in love with Maura Isles? Well guys, I know it is a bit frustrating. Love is a bitch. Just give poor Jane a chance…she'll get it eventually).

Without thinking about consequences, just listening to the voice in her head that was screaming "danger", she entered the bar.

It was nearly empty, time for lunch was over and there were just a few customers drinking hot coffee or chocolate, who maybe had got inside to escape from the cold. She couldn't blame them: it seemed the North Pole more than Boston out there.

"Afternoon Jane. You got yourself a day off?" asked her the man behind the counter.

"Heya Jimmy. How you doing? Yeah, yeah…sorry to be this precipitous, but is Maura still in? I really need to talk to her with urgency".

Jane knew Jim, the café owner, because sometimes her and Maura would show up for a coffee or at lunch break. It was a cosy place and Jimmy was always so nice that it slowlybecame a habit, and when they got to know the old man better, he told them his eldest son was a soon-to-be detective.

"He's moved to New Jersey with her wife, so by having you there, Jane, I feel closer to him. It's a nice feeling" he once told her, knowing she was a detective herself.

They usually had a good chat, but -that day- there was no time for small talk, and Jim knew by the look on her face that she was afraid of something. So he answered without fussing.

"Now that you tell me, she was here at lunch with a tall man. Big moustache. I saw them going to the bathroom, but then I had to go and bake those special Friday cookies you all love, so I didn't see them since".

"How long has passed since you went to the kitchen?".

"Ten minutes, maybe a bit more. Aren't they gone away yet?".

"No, bag and coats still at the table".

"Oh well…I s'pose you'll have to wait then…maybe they're having fun in the bathroom. " he concluded winking at her.

Now, Jim was a good guy, don't get him wrong…he just was a bit of a perv sometimes. Jane had learned to laugh about his goofy attempts at seducing her. He was harmless, just a big but not very grown up man.

Jane excused herself to the bathroom. She went downstairs without asking for directions: she knew the toilette was a floor down.

"When I'm back, I want one of your cappuccino waiting for me at the table, Jim" she said –vanishing under the stairs- trying to sound calm. It was only a suspect, she was acting on impulse and she didn't want to alarm Jimmy or the customers.

"Already making it, dear".

The blue walls -which she was quite familiar with- surrounded her. The room was completely empty.

Jane approached the toilette door undisturbed, her hand on the handle.

What if Jim was right? What if Maura and Mark were…ehm…going at it like rabbits?

"_Oh, come on, this old perv is having a bad influence on me, it's Maura we're talking about!"._

Still, she was uncertain on how to act. She would have really broken her if…

A muffled sound came through the door, and every hesitation was wiped out.

"_Maura"._

Jane opened the door and entered. She had a decision to make, and she had to make it quickly: ladies or gents?

"_I'll just have a look in the ladies' first"._

Not worrying about how she could have been inconvenient to show up out of the blue like that, not giving a flying fuck about having left her gun at home, she hurried to the door.

What she found in the bathroom nearly made her faint…

"MAURA!".

**BANG! What on earth happened? We'll see. ;)**

**Please review, it really makes my day.**

**Flower Power to you aaaaaall.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Here we are again. I just can't seem to stay away from this story.**

**This chapter is a bit sad, but don't worry: I need this fact to happen for the sake of the story. In a chapter or two you'll probably understand why. Just know that –everything I write- I write it for a reason. So…enjoy.**

Chapter 4.

…and there she was.

Lying on the bathroom floor, her cheeks all red and puffy, probably from the slaps and the effort to free herself, her hair all over her face and her make up smudged, both wrists tied up to the radiator with some tape: once so strong and bright –to Jane nearly invincible- Maura looked now completely destroyed.

When she entered the door and saw the state she was in, Jane nearly ignored the man in the room.

Her eyes were glued to Maura, to her was directed her only attention.

Her second reaction, however, was more beastly, and it resulted as quite unexpected. It was directed to the man who had done this to her. Who had given her this weakness, who had cracked her dignity. He was responsible for the look of pure dread and impotence that Jane saw in her friend's eyes. Hurt was carved in them like they were two stones. Once so beautiful and full of ancient warmness, Maura's eyes were now empty, transfigured in two pools of sorrow. He was the one to blame. It was his fault. He had to pay.

Her body moved even before her brain could give an input to the muscles.

Fast like an explosion, she literally assaulted him, slammed his whole body hard on the floor before he could react.

She blocked him to the floor with both her hands, but once he realized he had been discovered and attacked, he fought back.

That's when Jane noticed he was holding a knife in his left hand.

"Let me go, whore, I have a work to finish here" he managed to say, even though they were both short of breath because of the physical effort.

"Jane get out! Please…get out". Jane, while trying to hold him to the floor and to avoid the knife, heard Maura's soft voice begging her to leave. She didin't even considered to move.

Not even when the man managed to bring his knife so close to her neck that she could almost feel the metal on her skin.

She fought back, and she won.

The man escaped from her grip, but all that was needed was a smooth movement and now she had the knife.

He backed against the wall, slightly frightened, when he realized he didn't have his weapon anymore.

She took advantage of him being surprised to regain her breath.

"So what are you going to do now, bastard? C'mon tell me, what are you gonna do? You dirty pig, I'm gonna kill you and I swear when I've finished with you it won't even seem like you were a man!".

She shouted in frustration, and began to approach him, but it was too late.

She felt a a spasm of pain spreading from her low abdomen, his feet hit her and he was too quick for her tired reflexes. The man then slapped her and she fell on the floor, beating her head against it, still holding the knife like it was her life.

He ran out of the bathroom without looking back, an annoyed grin on his face: he would have been forced to try again.

When Jane regained some lucidity a minute later, she knew it was too late to catch him. Instead, she stood up approached Maura.

She noticed she was crying.

"Shh, honey, it's over…shh..".

She tried to comfort her with her touch. Using her handkerchief, she gently cleaned har face and wiped her tears away. When Maura seemed more calm, she said "Now I'm gonna unfasten your wrists, I'm not gonna hurt you. Everything's okay. It's me. Everything's okay".

Maura nodded weakly, to give her consent.

Jane tried to free her friend from the tape in the most delicate way. She didn't want to make movements which were too sudden, because she was afraid to scare her.

"I'm not a china-doll, you know?" muttered Maura, when she noticed how slow and gentle Jane was acting around her.

Jane smiled silently to herself, happy to hear her voice, even if it was just a feeble whisper. "I know, I know".

When she finally managed to untie her from the heater, she just hugged her.

She held her, there on the floor, stroking her back with her palms, without saying a word. She could sense her realaxing bit by bit. It was heartbreaking, they way her muscles slowly surrendered to her touch, the way Jane was feeling her tension flowing away from her.

They remained still for what felt like ages. To Jane, it was like slowly getting to know Maura again. It was something more intimate than making love, it was a link stronger than every kiss could ever be.

When they parted, Jane saw the world from another prospective.

"Everything Maura wants, I'll give it to her; everything she says, I'll listen; every place she goes, I'll follow her. Because only when she lives I live, only when she breathes I breathe".

It was a silent promise, a prayer, it was the moment when she admitted to herself she was and always would hae been in love with Maura.

No reason in fighting a so powerful strenght. She would have taken care of that newborn feeling like it was her son.

And –most important- she would have protected Maura from everything.

"Please Jane, take me home. I don't want anyone to see me".

Maura whispered in her ear when they finally broke their embrace.

"Okay".

Jane stood up, but Maura took her hand, that painful look in her eyes again.

Sensing her discomfort, Jane said: "I'm not going anywhere, I just need to take your coat, then we'll get out of this place using the emergency exit that's in here".

But –no matter what- Maura wasn't letting her go, she didn't seem convinced.

"Please Mau" Jane begged her "I just need you to trust me so I can take you home, okay?".

Maura nodded and her hand fell on her lap. She was finally trusting her, letting her go, giving her the permission to do whatever she was supposed to.

Jane went upstairs in a rush.

When Jimmy saw her, he said: "Janey, dear, you look scared. That guy just ran away without paying. What on earth happened to Maura?".

"Nothing's wrong with her Jimmy. They just had a little fight. Maura's been crying so she doesn't want anyone to see her. I'm taking her coat and then we're going home, using the emergency exit. Keep the change".

She handed him fifty dollars, trying to gain some composure. He seemed convinced: "Tell her I'm sorry".

"I will. See you Jimmy, thank you".

Jane hurried down to the bathroom, where she found Maura hidden in the corner, all wrapped up in herself. When she heard someone was coming, she looked up, scared. A look of pure relief lighted her features when she saw it was only Jane.

"C'mon, here's your coat. Let's get out of here".

She helped her stand up and then they managed to reach the car without being noticed by courious eyes.

Jane drove sorrounded by a silence she didn't intend to break. She wanted Maura to take her time

and recover from the shock. Then, they would have talked about what happened.

Jane switched off the engine and parked just in front of Maura's big flat. She searched for the keys in the pink bag; when she finally found them they just got in the house.

Once in the apartment, Jane left everything in the hall, and guided Maura to the bathroom.

She made her sit while she was filling the bath with hot water. When everything was ready, she just undressed her -head to toes-, gently, without being intrusiveormischievous.

She settled her into the bath with just her bra and knickers on, and then she began washing her, passing a sponge on her back, massaging her hair.

That's when Maura realized Jane was cleaning her. It was ritual cleansing, and it almost made her cry. She was washing away all the dirt –the intangible one.

When she was all cleaned up and dry, Jane accompained her to her room and laid her down.

She closed all doors and windows and she switched off the lights, apart from the abat-jour near her. She joined her on the bed almost immediately, stroking her hair tenderly, silently waiting for her to fall asleep and forget -just for a bit- what happened.

**Don't worry. You're probably hating me by now, but Maura's explanation is soon to come. As I said…I need this drama to happen. There's a bigger picture beside all this. Please review. **

**Love you **


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5.

Maura could sense the darkness around her, embracing her like an old friend. Every noise from the street came muffled through the closed shutters. The air itself was still, it was like the whole world was in a sleepy haze. It wasn't scaring, no. On the contrary: in was comforting. The silence, the peace, they made her feel protected. Immune.

Not like in that bathroom…

She pushed that thought away, not wanting to ruin that peaceful moment of hers.

The pillow was silky under her head, and she could still smell her shampoo, that familiar lavender aroma coming from her wet hair, filling her nostrils gently. The duvet was soft against her bare abdomen, and she was sinking in it, feeling warm and safe.

The only sounds in the room were the ones of two beating hearts, and her and Jane's regular breaths.

Jane was asleep, one of her hand still through Maura's locks, her body so close that their feet were brushing whenever Maura moved.

Her skin was radiating heat towards her, like a candle in the dark.

Her candle, her fire, her saviour.

She deserved answers.

Maura couldn't wait for her to wake up. She had managed to fall into a surreal calm for the past few hours and, thanks to her friend's attention and cure, she forgot –for a bit- abot what had happened and how serious were the possible implications.

Jane was looking so openly beautiful in her sleep that -for a moment- Maura thought she wouldn't had the heart to disturb her. She watched her for a bit, her chest growing and falling under the covers, her corvine hair surrounding her head like a cloud.

"Jane…please wake up, I need to talk to you". Maura's whisper was nearly inaudible. She caressed her cheekbone with a fingertip, causing Jane to visibly shudder.

"Maura…is that you?" she whispered back, still in her drowsiness.

"Yeah it's me. I need to tell you something".

Jane was now fully woken up. Flashes of what happened in the café ran through her mind. She searched for her gun but couldn't find it, so she started to panic.

"I'm okay, no need to worry" Maura tried to calm her down sensing her turmoil.

But now that she was awake, now that she was conscious, Jane couldn't resist. She couldn't wait. She had to ask Maura what had been on the tip of her tongue since the aggression.

"Maura. Please I need to know if…did he…I mean, did he…" she wasn't able to finish the sentence. A single tear escaped from her eyes, full of concern.

Now roles were reversed, and Maura tried to comfort her.

"He didn't take advantage of me, if that's what you're asking. You were too fast, he didn't have the time to…".

Jane sobbed at the information. Tears of relief were freely running down her cheeks now.

She tried to calm herself. She needed to talk with Maura.

"If I hadn't been able to arrive sooner, would he…?".

"Yes, I think those were his final intentions".

"What do you mean by final, Maura?".

"I need to talk to you" she repeated.

"Okay, I'm all ears. Do you want me to turn on the lights?".

"No, I like it. It's…cosy".

Jane moved closer to her friend because she wanted to have a better view of her face, and the light from the abat-jour was too feeble for her purpose.

"He wanted to tell me something first. Mark, I mean…I don't even think that's his real name".

"Go on…what did he tell you?".

"You arrived five minutes after he had…tied me up to the radiator so…". At those words, Maura's voice broke.

Jane squeezed her hand.

"So he wasn't able to finish his speech but…it was something about revenge".

"What kind of revenge? Do you remember the exact words?".

"I'm not that clever, but I can try" Maura smiled, in an attempt to light the atmosphere.

Jane feebly smiled back. "I know you are, doctor. So, tell me…what did he say to you?".

_It happened in a blur, and his eyes were filled with an old rage…_

_When he finished with the tape, he slapped her. Once, twice: she lost count._

_He was insulting her with harsh words and she didn't understand…she couldn't even register what was happening around hr, it was all too much…_

"What have I done to you?" she muttered under her breath, allowing herself to cry because she couldn't bear it any longer.

"_What have you done? You bitch, I saw the way you look at her, how can you not know?"_

"_I haven't done anything wrong. I don't know what you're talking about. Please, let me…"._

"_Shut up YOU WHORE! You are all the same, aren't you? I' not guilty, it's not my fault. Like hell it isn't! But you are going to pay for it, you all gonna pay. Just like Casey did.."_

_Maura noticed he had pulled a knife out of his pocket. She gulped, and she knew hers was a natural, human reaction to danger. She also knew she had to preserve her brain functions if she wanted to make him come to his senses. Screaming –as appealing as it seemed- wasn't an option. It would only have upset him more. She had to maintain her calm, though it wasn't easy._

_He knelt down so that his face was few inches away from hers._

_She could feel his hot breath tingling her neck. _

"_No one will save you from this. Deep down, you know you deserve to be punished. What you do is wrong, what you feel is wrong. I'm just doing you a favour, you know?"._

_She felt his lips attaching her skin, she shuddered under his touch._

"_Death is the cure"._

_Just when she thought it was over, he slowly pulled away and in that moment she realized it was going to be a long torture. He began unbuttoning her shirt…_

_Then, as soon as it started, it ended._

_Maura heard a loud bang and someone forced the door open…"._

"You know what happened next". Maura finished her little speech, and her mouth was dry. It had taken her a lot, but she had to tell Jane. She couldn't fully understand the man's behaviour, but she knew something was going on.

"You sure she mentioned a Casey?" . It was the first question from Jane. She had caught the detail.

"Yeah.." Maura confirmed.

"Do you think she can be…?".

"Bryan's Casey? Yeah, that's exactly what I thought. It can't be a coincidence".

"God that's weird. We'll need to figure it out eventually. I just don't get it, there's something…". Jane grumbled, frustrated.

"I know how you feel. We'll manage".

"Yeah, never mind. It's not like we don't have time. We have more important things to discuss like…you sure you're okay? You're not …injured or something?".

"No, I'm okay. I mean…physically. Plus, I thought you had the possibility to know that yourself…".

Jane blushed.

"About that. I thought a bath would have been good. I don't know what I was thinking, it was an unforgivable intrusion. I'm sorry…".

"There's nothing you need to be sorry for. It helped".

"Really?".

Jane raised her eyebrow. Her typical "are you fooling with me?" face made Maura explode with laughter.

"Why are you laughing at me?".

"I'm not, it's just…you should see your face!". Maura thought it was adorable, the way she was surprised she did something useful.

"What's wrong with my face?".

"Never mind…".

"Yeah, as you want. I don't understand how Casey can be involved in this mess, but you know we'll have to tell the police about it, yeah?".

"You are the police" replied Maura with a cheeky grin.

"Thank you for reminding me who I am, smarty, but I'm also a witness. W need to tell Korsak and Frost. Then, I'll find that Mark prick, put him in a cellar and fucking rip his head off and…".

Maura stopped her rumblings by giving her a kiss on the cheek. She was being so sweet she couldn't resist.

Jane instantly fell silent.

"What was that for?".

"Having saved my life seems like a good reason to me, don't you think?".

"Too bad, I thought you would have given me money for that…", she joked.

"Yeah, dream on Rizzoli, I'm saving for a new microscope".

"C'mon Maura, you don't do saving".

"I'm not that reach Jane. But can I bribe you with food instead of money?".

"That sounds like a good compromise to me".

They chuckled, and Jane thought it was crazy how they could, just after what happened…

"Why are we making jokes about it, by the way? You could have been killed". And with that, it was serious-Jane all over again.

"That's pretty normal, I presume. It's all about phases. There's the initial shock, then when it is all over you're too tired to talk about it and you collapse. Then comes the relief –which I'm myself experiencing right now. Then the realization hit you…".

This time was Jane to interrupt her by kissing her on the cheek.

Dr. Isles reacted pretty much like Jane did: she looked astonished.

(It's impressive how this two can be so blind sometimes, don't you think?).

"What was that for?".

"You can give me all these psycho-chemical bullshit about phases. I think you're just strong like iron. I would have shitted myself, If I were you. And the way you're talking about it, you just amaze me. You're so…rational".

"Was it a compliment? Are you complimenting me?".

"Maybe?".

"And we can say it was a bit between the lines too?".

"I s'pose".

"Yay! I got it, 1-0 for me!". Maura raised her fist in the air, victorious and goofy, celebrating the fact.

"Mau, you are unbelievable sometimes…".

"Yeah. Plus, I'm gonna prepare you some exquisite pasta right now".

And with that, she got out of the bed, with Jane following her close, like a cute little dog.

It wasn't easy and it wouldn't have been. But Jane knew they would have make it through, and that was all that mattered.

**Maura's so strong, I love her, please marry me…okay. Stop. Please review? ;) **


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6.

"Jane".

Korsak was in his office with her the next day, and Jane had just told him about what happened. She had hoped he would have been kinda excited: it was interesting news she was giving him, and she knew he wasn't fully convinced by Bryan's confession anyway.

Her expectations about his excitement were soon let down: at the end of her little speech, Korsak looked like his cat was dead.

He was weirdly serious when he said to her: "Please, call Dr. Isles, I want her here, I have to speak to you both".

He had such a funeral face while he was speaking that Jane didn't even ask for further explanations. She went straight to Maura's lab.

"Hi, you" she greeted her.

It was 8 in the mourning and she was already wearing her alb. Jane thought she looked beautiful even in her work clothes, her brown hair, slightly curled, were shining like amber. Every moment with her was precious.

"Hey". Jane answered, lingering on the threshold.

"What's the matter? Have you already spoken with Korsak?".

"Yeah, that's why I'm here. He needs both of us in his office. Don't ask me what is going on, I don't have a clue".

"He'll probably want to hear my version too. Let's go".

And with that, she left her white coat on the chair and followed Jane, not knowing that a storm was soon to come.

When they arrived at the office, Korsak looked -if possible- more serious then before.

"Shut the door, would you, Maura?" he asked her, noticing that Frost was trying to have a look inside to see what was happening.

Sensing that something was wrong, Maura obeyed without arguing.

"Okay" said Korsak, with a calm, monotone voice. His fits were closed like he was trying to maintain his fake facade of calm. The air was thick around them.

"I know you two are really close" he continued "and you've been best friends for a while now. I also know that what happened yesterday must have been pretty shocking but…".

That's was the moment he lost it.

"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING? I can understand that Maura is a doctor, but you Jane? YOU'RE A COP! Going home after a rape attempt, without calling immediately? What about all the evidences? What about the customers and the witnesses? If we had a chance to find out who that Mark guy was, we lost it all because of YOU! Were you drunk, wasted, or what? There is no excuse to justify your behaviour. Going away without calling a nurse? WHAT THE FUCK, RIZZOLI?".

He was shouting at them both, but Jane knew he was talking to her only. She had never heard him swearing that way, his face was all red from the effort, and Maura thought he would have had a heart attack right in front of them.

He had probably finished the air to breath, so when he spoke again his voice wasn't as louder.

But is was worse.

Because Jane could clearly feel his deep disappointment. He never used that tone with her. Yeah, he had been a little rude from time to time, maybe sarcastic. But that…hearing his completely legitimate accuses…Jane was astonished, because he was right. There was nothing she could say to defend herself.

"_What have I done?"_

"I'm afraid I will have to tell the lieutenant. I would have never expected this lack of attention from you, Jane".

That's when Maura intervened.

"Tenant, please don't, this is all mi fault. It was me who…told Jane to take me home immediately. I was scared, I was embarrassed, I didn't think straight. I don't know what happened to me, it was like my brain stopped functioning.

Maura was pleading him to punish her and her only. It was too much for Jane to bear. She just had to sit down, while Korsak answered.

"You're right. I don't know what had got into you, doctor. I've always seen you as the most reliable one. But you have your reasons. You had just been assaulted. I don't understand how you could have been so careless, being the fantastic, meticulous medical examiner you are, and this will surely cost you something. I'm afraid you won't be able to avoid all the consequences that might come. But Jane. Really? You're not a fresh anymore, you're a detective, and the way you've been coping with the situation terrifies me. If you're not able to control your fears and feelings when a friend is involved, then I don't even know how you've been judged duteous for this kind of job. I know you are of an impulsive nature, but in all these years that I've been working with you, this is the most stupid, careless thing you've ever done, and I'm not sure I can fix it, Rizzoli. Or even if I want to".

And with that speech, Jane was dead to the world. The fact that Vince Korsak, the man who taught her how to be a good cop, who sacrificed his time for her, who saved her life more than once, was talking to her like she was a stranger, even calling her using his surname…Jane just couldn't bear it. He seemed to have lost all his esteem, and his eyes were looking at her full of sincere disbelief. That look…it was killing her.

What made the cut bleed even more was that Jane knew he was totally, unconditionally right. About everything. That truth hurt like a bitch.

Now that Korsak made the situation clear to her, she just couldn't understand how she was able to react that way. She hadn't followed a procedure she knew by heart.

Calm down the victim.

Call the police

In case of injuries, call an ambulance.

Ask all the witnesses to stay.

Collect all evidences.

The fact that was bothering her the most was that she knew what she should have done, she knew how she should have acted. She just…didn't.

Her love for Maura made her blind.

"_We ate pasta after she had just been assaulted! What kind of cop does that?"_

How childish, how careless she had been!

Now she could see the situation from another point of view, and she knew she deserved all those insults from Korsak, the punishment that would eventually come from Cavanaugh, and even more.

"You're right". She said in a whisper.

"What I did…it was unforgivable. I want to speak to the chief right now, and I'll convince him to suspend me .I don't deserve to be called detective anymore. I hope you can forgive me…both of you. And I'm sorry I let you down. It won't happen anymore".

"Jane..". Maura's voice was feeble.

Jane felt suffocated, she couldn't stay in that room no longer.

She got out without saying a word. She had to see Cavanaugh. It was the right thing to do.

**My apologies, it's been a while since I updated. **

**Short but intense. Poor Jane…but Korsak was right. Review? ;)**


	7. Chapter 7

**So. Yeah. Here I am again. I know, how boring! As I said, I'm growing so fond of this story that I just can't stop writing! I'm sure I will have to slow down eventually, but for now it's like I have fire in my fingertips!**

**(C'mon, have mercy, that's Italians for you :P)**

**Hope you enjoy!**

Chapter 7.

It was a typical winter night in Boston. Outside, the city was trapped in its freezing weather. The streets were empty and dark. From her window, Jane could still spot two or three brave men on their way home after work, all wrapped up in their coats and scarves, in order to protect themselves from the crispy air, trying to reach their cars without dying of hypothermia.

The wind was blowing furiously.

There wasn't anything about that evening that could be referred to as "typical", as far as Jane was concerned.

In an ordinary day, she would already have arrived at her flat.

In an ordinary day, she would have collapsed on her couch, tired after having worked for hours.

She would have probably ordered a Chinese take-away, maybe Maura and her would have eaten it together, watching some incomprehensible documentary on the TV, without truly following it. (They would have been chatting instead).

Maura –like always- would have complained about the low quality of the food, and Jane about how boring the documentary was. They would have ended up falling asleep on the sofa. Jane would have missed her from the very moment she was gone.

But today wasn't an ordinary day.

Jane was still in her office, at her desk, doing some paper work.

Everyone else was gone already, but she couldn't leave. It would have meant she would have had to face Maura. And she wasn't prepared for it yet.

After speaking with the lieutenant, she managed to avoid her the whole day.

As time passed, she was growing anxious: Jane knew that Maura wasn't stupid, she must have sensed her distance. They usually met up outside, and Jane wasn't going to show up, so Maura would have searched for her inside.

Jane switched off her phone. But avoiding Maura Isles was more difficult than climbing the Everest…

Jane heard someone knocking on the door. She immediately knew it was her, but she decided to stay silent: maybe Maura would have thought she was at home already?

But Maura knew better than that.

"Jane. Honey, please open the door. It's me. And I know you're there, I can see your car is still parked outside".

"Damn it". Jane grumbled, then approached the door in order to open it. She did what she had to, and without even watching or welcoming her friend, she returned at her desk.

"Hi". Maura's was uncertain. She stepped in the office, but didn't had the courage to actually reach the desk. She decided to keep her distance, worried to upset her friend.

"_She is so nervous, what's happening to her?" _

"Hi. What do you want?".

It was hard to be that cold and detached, but Jane was doing for Maura.

"I've been waiting for you outside for a while now, but you haven't shown up…".

There was no answer from Jane.

"I just thought that maybe…tonight could have been a Chinese night at yours? I haven't seen you all day…". Maura insisted, gaining confidence.

"I've been…busy. And I still am. I think we'll have to postpone, I'm sorry".

"Do you think you can fool me this easily, Jane Rizzoli?".

So, Maura went straight to the point, huh? Jane was surprised: she thought she might have been more subtle.

"I don't know what you're talking about".

"Jane. I know you, I know you're avoiding me. What happened with Cauvaghan? What did he say? I spoke to him this afternoon, but he refused to tell me anything about your morning meeting. He said it was up to you whether to tell me or not. You haven't been suspended, right?".

Maura was so sincere in her worry that Jane couldn't remain silent anymore. She felt the urge to comfort her.

"No, I haven't. Still here. He punished me with some boring paper work, for a month or two. He was too kind. I deserved a lot more".

"Don't say that". And with those three words Jane knew Maura was still feeling guilty about what happened with Korsak. The fact that she thought it was her fault made Maura even more adorable to Jane's eyes. She had to change the subject, otherwise she wouldn't have been able to stick to her plan.

"_Remember. Cold and distant. For her" _

"What about you?". Truth be told, she was eager to know what happened.

"I haven't been suspended. It went all smooth, actually. He just need my written version of the facts. They will question Bryan tomorrow. I don't think they will give us the case, though. It's too personal".

"Chief was too kind about that too. I insisted on having the case. He said he trusted me, but I'll have to tell Korsak everything that happens. He will be following me 24/7. Quite annoying if you ask me, it's like having a full time babysitter, but it could have been a lot worse".

"Well then. So, come home with me Jane. Seems like we'll have to work pretty hard tomorrow".

Maura smiled at her, it was like going home with her was the best thing of her day, and Jane heart started bleeding at the sight.

"About that. I don't think we should work together on this case anymore. Actually, I've been thinking about calling Dr. Spike…".

Jane had imagined that Maura would have argued about her decision. She had expected her to shout. What she never imagined she would have done was to suddenly start crying and sobbing in front of her.

"What…what are you talking about? You…you don't want me as your medical examiner anymore? I don't understand…".

Jane stood up and approached her. She could see tears in her hazel eyes.

She couldn't resist seeing her in that state, not even for a minute: she hugged her, and began stroking her hair gently.

"God damn it, she is more important than my stupid pride."

When they connected, Jane felt like electricity running through her body, and wondered if Maura could feel it too.

"No. Please, Maura, don't cry. It's not like that. I know you are the best. We all know. But you're too involved in this shit. And I'm too involved when it comes to you. I can't function, I can't…what happened yesterday…it just can't happen again, and if somebody's going to hurt you, I know I will panic and react just like I did in that bathroom. I can't loose my job. I can't loose you, either. God, it's complicated. I'm…too weak when you are concerned".

Maura shivered. Jane's words hit her like a train: she was confused by her hot an cold behaviour, but at least she was hopeful again.

"Why didn't you just pop up in my lab today? Why are you avoiding me? We could have talked about it, like two grown up women".

"I know. It's not easy. Please don't make me say it out loud".

"Say what?".

Jane freed herself from their hug and went back to her desk.

"How can I work with you when I…".

"When you?".

"When…". She just couldn't say that. She couldn't lost Maura's friendship over a stupid crush…

"Jane. Is there something you have to tell me?".

Maura's eyes were looking at her, and Jane was so electrified by her that she had to say it.

"The truth is…Maura, the truth is…

You make me come undone".

Jane knew Maura was trying to say something in response, but she didn't let her. She had to finish what she started.

"You see, I was taught how to be a good cop, how to act fast. I know the procedure. I'm rational and impulsive at the same time. I'm like a well-oiled mechanism".

"I know you're the best in what you do".

"That's the point. I'm not, as far as you are concerned. You saw what happened yesterday. You were in danger and I stopped being the balanced, brilliant detective I usually am. I was just a frightened little girl and…I fucked it up. I really screwed it badly. The thing is…the thing is…".

Jane was now mumbling, trying to find the right words to express her feeling, possibly without scaring Maura to death and make her run away like Jane was some kind of creepy monster.

But Maura wasn't scared at all (well, she was scared for other reasons).

She reached her behind the desk and Jane immediately stood up.

No more words were needed: Maura silenced her by gently brushing her lips with a finger.

Then, Maura closed the distance, and their lips connected. It was brief, but enough intense to defeat any army.

It was an atomic bomb.

It was a jump from a high cliff, and Jane felt butterflies erupting in her stomach.

It felt like home, it smelled like brownies and it sounded like a hot breeze that make your skin say thank you for the longed warmness.

It was like Christmas, Easter and New year all put together.

Then it was over, and all that Jane could see were Maura's eyes that looked like melted honey, all that she could feel was her hot breath still lingering on her mouth.

"Now, please, can you make it clear for me?". Maura whispered, asking for some kind of certainty.

Jane brushed her nose with hers in a tender gesture, looking her straight in the eyes.

"The thing is…I may be…actually I think I already am…what I' trying to say is that I'm in love with you, Maura".

**Time for the big step, huh? **

**What do you think? Will they last? Jane's so paranoid :P Ahaha.**

**You know reviews are always welcomed! They are "like Christmas, Easter and New year all put together!". :P**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8.

…_I'm in love with you…_

Their foreheads touching, their noses brushing, their eyes sparkling…it was the perfect moment.

They both knew their souls were now out in the open; there was no turning back.

You don't know how I hoped you would have said that to me Maura whispered in her ear. Kissing her, making the first step: it had been terrifying for her. She was the Doc, the queen of dead: sure, she could cut bodies like they were cakes, but she didn't do action. Jane was the brave one, Maura had always pictured herself as the brain behind her.

But she had to surrender to a force that was more powerful than gravity itself. Maura, as a scientist, knew that it wasn't possible, but she felt attracted to Jane like the Moon was to the Earth. The moment they collapsed, Maura lost all her rational certainties, because she couldn't explain something that was so breathtaking. It wasn't just about chemistry, -she knew hormones could explain sexual attraction-, it was something she couldn't analyse, it was their lips that just fitted together, like missing pieces of the same puzzle. It was primordial, she was defeated and glad to be.

How did you know that I…? Jane asked her.

I didn't.

That kiss…. Jane was astonished. Maura had just kissed her…

"_Am I hallucinating?"_

Confusion was dominating her, but what her friend said after made her knees go weak.

It wasn't because I knew you wanted me. It was my decision. It was _me_ wanting _you_.

So you do love me back? It's not…a joke…a fling or something like that?. Jane seemed surprised, and her tone of voice made Maura giggle.

You don't have the higher opinion of me, do you? I think I've always loved you back. I didn't realize it. Buy, yeah, of course I do. It's not a stupid crush…I don't even know _what _it is yet…it is too intense, I can't even begin to analyse it. And you know better than I do: analysing is my favourite hobby. Now, will you come home with me? I'm fed up with waiting.

After Maura's little speech, hope was shining in Jane's heart like gold in the air of summer. She wouldn't have asked a second time. (C'mon, just go with the flow, Jane…).

Paper work can go fuck themselves. My place?.

Jane picked up her jacket from the chair, eager to go. How could she not be? All reasons to stay had vanished with that kiss. Every thought was now dedicated to the wonderful woman in the room that had just said to her she loved her back. She managed to forget about all her doubts and she would have jumped of joy, but she was afraid to scare Maura with her totally childish behaviour.

Definitely. It's closer Maura answered. Even though there were like fireworks erupting in her stomach, she was still able to think about that detail.

Never had two simple words made Jane more excited. She held Maura's hand and took her to her car in a hurry. The engine started with a roar, and she drove faster that she should have.

In any other situation, Maura would have complained about Jane over-speed, but that was not the case, as instead, she was too concentrated on the hard task of slowing down hear heart beat. For a moment, she thought it was beating so fast it would have broken her ribcage. She seemed to have lost all her rationality…that was the effect Jane had on her.

Maura's fingers, gently tracing circles on her right thigh, made that trip the longest of her life.

They finally made it to Jane's flat. They jumped off the car like there was someone hunting them.

Maura would have never admitted that to Jane, but she was so horny she would have jumped her in the lift, if Mrs. Dizzle, the new (but very aged and conservative) neighbour, hadn't had the brilliant idea to be with them.

It lasted just a minute, but being in that lift unable to touch Maura made Jane crazy. They finally arrived at the right floor and Jane practically pushed her out of the elevator.

Maura knew it was rude: they didn't even say goodbye to poor Mrs. Dizzle. It came unexpected to her: Maura was always concerning about being polite with people, but –she realized- she didn't care at all. All she cared about was for Jane to find the keys in her bag so that they could finally spend some proper alone time in her flat.

Dammit…oh, thank God!. Jane muttered. She finally found the keys and opened the door.

As soon as they entered the door, Maura closed it behind them. She only gave her time to turn on the light in the entrance, and then slammed her hard on the door surface, attaching her lips with fury. Jane was trapped between the door and Maura's body, but nothing could have been more agreeable. That unstoppable need Maura had, that impulse to kiss her as soon as she could, gave Jane the final proof that Maura wanted her.

God, it doesn't even seem real. Jane managed to say when Maura left her lips, being too fascinated by the exposed skin of her neck. Her lips parted, and her tongue was suddenly all over her, tasting her, like a storm willing to wipe out everything that crosses its path.

It is. Maura abandoned her neck and looked her straight in the eye. She was playing with her dark hair, she just couldn't stop. I love your curls, the way they seem to be everywhere. You are dazzling.

Does it mean we're going to skip dinner? asked Jane with a mischievous grin.

Technically, we won't be able to fill our stomachs. But I think…I'm going to eat you, instead. Maura's glooming eyes were sparkling. Her voice became so husky Jane thought she would have died.

I…think we should move this to my bedroom.. she managed to say, in short breaths.

I thought you'd never asked. Maura bit her left lob, making Jane extremely horny, and then just ran away, upstairs. It was a challenge: she was daring her to follow her.

Jane remained still for a while, the only thing that was keeping her from falling was the door behind her.

(Okay sweetheart…you need to understand…there's Maura in your bedroom…probably already naked, or definitely willing to be soon…so: what are you waiting for, twat?).

Jane freed herself from that Maura-induced haze and, with trembling little steps, she went upstairs.

The bedroom door was open, Maura was sitting on her bed, still dressed. She seemed more calm than before. She was smiling, and her eyes were speaking in a strange, beautiful language that only Jane could understand. Biting her lips in anticipation, Jane entered the room and approached her. She gently pulled Maura so that she was laying on the soft duvet. Maura didn't even flinch: she was letting her do what she wanted to.

Jane's intentions were to savour every moment. She held both her wrists and put Maura's arm above her head. Then, she kissed her softly, their lips barely touching, in slow motion.

She felt Maura quivering under her. She then positioned herself on the top of her and began tracing ghostly kisses on Maura's neck. She moaned, turning her head so that Jane could have more access.

With a hand in her hair, Jane used the free one to unzip the tight dress Maura was wearing. That gave her access to her bare back. She explored it with her fingers, reaching her bra. She caressed her shoulders, her skin was soft like velvet.

Maura, who wasn't indifferent to her touch, kissed her again, this time more forcefully, and Jane lost all her calm, her vision became blurry. She could feel her everywhere. Their bodies were touching, and suddenly Maura felt the urge to remove all those layers of clothes separating them.

She thanked God that Jane loved to wear casual: she just had to remove her jacket and her baggy t-shirt. Having Jane Rizzoli half-naked in front of her, with just her jeans and bra on…to Maura, it was better than any autopsy.

She took her time to admire Jane's perfect curves, her perfect breasts, her abdomen's muscles. She seemed a Greek statue, Maura was fascinated with her proportions.

I don't think that's fair, I'm the only one half naked here. Why do you always wear dresses?. Jane said.

You should have warned me, I would have chosen something more easy to take off.

Not that I'm complaining, you always look wonderful in your dresses, Doctor Isles. But, right now? I'd rather have you naked screaming under me.

Maura gulped hard, and Jane roughly took her dress off. Now, apart from Jane trousers, there was nothing too thick between them. But it wasn't enough. While Jane began to kiss her furiously, enjoying the feeling of her skin against her, Maura took off her bra. Jan groaned loudly when she felt Maura's hand circling her nipple.

God….

Maura freed herself from Jane lips and started kissing and biting her everywhere. She knew she was leaving marks, but she didn't care. She sucked hard on her pulse point and then passed with her tongue between Jan breasts. She stopped when she arrived at her belly button. Jane was shivering. Maura hesitated, her fingers on Jane's waist band.

She pressed one of her thigh on her centre, causing Jane to say: Jesus, Maura, just put them off.

Having had her permission, Maura unzipped her trousers and slowly took them off. Jane could feel her centre throbbing more and more, while Maura made her way to where she wanted her the most. Just as she felt her palm reaching her wetness, a loud noise made them stop dead.

Jane, dear, I know you're home, open the door it's me.

It was her mother, Angela, screaming like a banshee in search of her daughter's attention.

Is it your mom?. Maura asked her.

Please just ignore her said Jane, starting to kiss her again.

Maura in a first moment responded to the kiss, but then managed to say: We should go and see what she wants. It's rude, and plus it can be something serious. You never know….

Jane grumbled, still undecided.

You know I'd love to continue what we started, but we can't just ignore her, hun….

Jane couldn't say no to Maura. She would have taken her on the Himalayas, if she had asked.

So, even though very pissed, she nodded.

That woman doesn't have the word privacy in her vocabulary.

Go on, I'll come down in a bit…I have to fresh up. Maura said, while Jane was already putting on her shirt.

Okay, I'll see you in a bit. She kissed her, just because she was now allowed to, and prepare herself to face the Angela hurricane.


	9. Chapter 9

**Long time no see.**

**No apologies will be enough.**

**Sorry, sorry, sorry.**

**This ninth chapter is my way to say it…hope you appreciate.**

Chapter 9.

Jane unwillingly hurried downstairs and opened the door. From the very moment she did, she regretted letting her in: why didn't she just left her mother waiting outside of her apartment?

It would have been a wiser decision to make. Plus, it would have certainly spared her a lot of trouble and embarrassment.

Without saying a word, Angela entered like a fury: she passed her by (Jane nearly lost her balance) and positioned herself near the couch in the living room.

Jane followed close behind: at first, seeing her in that state, she was scared something bad happened.

She was, of course, wrong.

Angela had come for Jane only, and it wasn't a courtesy visit.

Her mother didn't sit down. Her face was red from anger, Jane thought she saw her fingers trembling from the effort to contain herself from slapping her right in the face, just like she did when Jane was a little, crazy kid.

Then, Angela exploded, and it was terrible and annoying, as always. But it was also cute, because Jane saw it as a way for her mother to express her affection.

A very awkward way…but still. It's Angela we're talking about.

"Why on earth didn't you tell me what happened the other day? I'm fed up with you risking your life every day. I mean….I am your mother….I have the right to know…you and Maura could have been killed!".

So she knows…great…

"Ma'…" Jane made a step towards her, willing to say something to calm her down.

It was useless: you can't stop a very pissed Angela Rizzoli, you just have to resist until she looses her voice.

Truth be told, Jane knew she eventually would have had to face her, but she didn't expected such a scene.

"Jane Rizzoli! You don't use that tone with me! Frankie said you could have been fired, too, for not having followed the procedure. Is it me that taught you how to be so reckless, or are you just a natural at screwing everything's up?".

Uh. That kinda hurt.

Those exact words were stuck into her brain since her little "speech" with Korsak, but hearing her mother saying them…it was hard to bear. She hit a sensitive spot: her knees were suddenly very weak, so she sit on the sofa.

"I made a mistake".

"I don't care if….what did you just say?".

Angela seemed to realize a bit later what her daughter told her. Her mouth remained open because of the shock.

"I said it was a mistake, happy? Don't make me repeat that again, please".

God, it was such an effort for her. Yeah, she knew she was wrong but saying that out loud wasn't going to change a thing.

_Way to kill my pride, mother… _

And then Angela sensed it. It was in Jane's eyes, in her tone of voice, it was written all over her face.

**Regret.**

**Guilt.**

**Fear.**

Those weren't feelings she was used to see –and so clearly!- on her daughter's face, Jane was usually so good at hiding, avoiding, passing by. Hearing her admitting her own faults was a rarity that not very often occurred.

Angela suddenly changed her attitude from a very pissed to a consoling one. She knew by the look in her eyes that Jane was aware of the gravity of what happened, and she didn't want to add another accuse to the ones she imagined Jane had already received.

"Dear, it's not like I'm blaming you for what happened…".

"You should, it was my fault…".

Angela was astonished.

It was even worse than she imagined. Jane looked so much like a wounded animal, licking her scars in the sofa; she almost couldn't recognize her.

She reached her on the sofa, tempted to try and take her hand, but she knew it was too much: as broken as she could have been, she was still her Jane. She didn't do holding hands.

So she said, in a soft tone: "We are humans, mistakes are in our nature. You can't reach perfection, even if you want to. Let it go, sweetie...".

"Yeah, I know…I suppose my pride doesn't help me a lot".

It wasn't a confession she was planning to make anytime soon, but Jane was deeply moved by her mother's words. Gone were the anger and the resentment: Angela's cheeks were red, but because of a sincere worry.

"It's a family trait, my dear". Angela offered a smile which Jane returned.

And with that, peace seemed to be returned, but Jane knew better than that: she knew Angela wasn't finished yet. She wasn't particularly happy with the idea, but she knew she had to tell her what happened, she had to answer her questions. Avoiding her was no longer an option.

"You know, Jane, I'm aware that your work is full of risks, but you have to understand you can't exclude the people that care about you from your life".

"I'm sorry, Ma', you know I do it just because I don't want you and dad to worry too much. I'll try to be more open, I promise".

"Thank you dear…".

But still, something wasn't quite right, and Angela could sense Jane's discomfort. So she pushed her, hoping she wasn't asking for too much.

"There's still something that bothers you, in that big head of yours…am I right?".

Jane stiffened: her mother could really read her like a book.

At first, she wanted to deny…but then realized she really wanted to talk about it.

"Yeah…there is something…".

"What is it?".

"I'm just so…angry. I mean, I don't care about being fired and all but…it's not just me. It's about Maura too, and she sure as hell deserves someone that can protect her. I thought I was a good friend, I thought she was safe with me but I'm not sure anymore.

I completely freaked out, mom…she risked her life and I acted like a fool.

I mean, she was attacked and nearly raped…and what do I do?

Nothing.

I don't call the police…I don't collect any evidence…I completely ignore the procedure!

What kind of cop does that? I should have known better, I should have acted sooner.

We ate pasta, mom..pasta! That very same evening…like, seriously?

And then we went to sleep, and to work, like nothing happened.

I was actually surprised that Korsak wanted to talk me about something, today…I should have been laid off, immediately…I mean what if…".

Angela sensed that Jane was started to loosing it, so she interrupted her.

"Honey…you are over-reacting. And "what ifs" are bad for your health, y'know.

What happened…it wasn't your fault. I'm sure Maura doesn't blame you…so why should you? You saved her…you rescued her. Sure, you may have been a little…superficial, after…but it's not easy, handling that kind of situation. You were in shock too, and now you have the possibility to make it better".

"I don't know…".

"Yes, you do. C'mon. This isn't the Jane I know. It's not to late, you can fix this…".

"Maybe you are right". Jane smiled, just a little. Her mom was right, after all. She had the possibility to repair what she had broken. The chief didn't fire her, he was going to trust her with that case: that had to mean something.

It was up to her…

She definitely felt better. Knowing she could do something, it was a regenerating feeling.

Angela smiled back, happy that her daughter seemed to have regained her typical determination.

"Now enough of these sad things, I was thinking: how about we go and visit Maura…she must be still pretty shocked, I don't want her to be alone in that enormous house of hers…"

At that point, Jane blushed.

She had completely forgotten about Maura, still upstairs trying to make herself presentable. "Actually…" she began to explain, but was interrupted by the very same Maura, who entered in the living room.

Her cheeks were still pink…but hair and dress were perfect. Perfect make up, no smeared lipstick: Jane wondered how she was able to look so hot even in the most uncomfortable occasions.

Before Maura could say a word, Angela –who seemed a bit surprised by her presence- said: "I can see you're already here, Doctor. Why didn't you tell me, Jane?".

"You didn't give me time to" said Jane, sounded apologetic.

"Well, at least Jane is not a complete idiot…I thought she'd left you alone in that big, scaring flat of yours".

"Gee, mom, you know your compliments and your insults are, like…the same thing!" Jane muttered.

Maura took her place on the armchair near the couch and, after elegantly crossing her legs, she answered: "Sorry to interrupt you. I appreciate your concern, Angela, but I can assure you Jane has been really wonderful. She's taking good care of me. Everything's going just _fine_".

Those words made Jane blush again, she hoped her mother didn't notice.

_Maura you are such a tease sometimes…_

"I'm glad to hear that…so I s'pose you two already had dinner…?".

"Actually, we have just arrived…" Jane lied, realizing they had been –in fact- too busy to eat anything.

"How so? It's nearly half past ten…I thought you were taking care of her, Jane! It seems to me you're not doing such a good work". And with that, she lightly hit Jane's shoulder with her fist, as a way to make her point.

"Ouch! That hurt, ma'!".

"Jane…don't be such a baby. C'mon, let's go to my place, I'll see if I can put together something to eat for you two…your dad and I have already had dinner, but I don't think it'll be a problem".

She knew Maura was too kind to turn down the offer, but Jane was faster: "It's fine, really. It has been a long day, Mom…we were just thinking about ordering some Chinese food and going straight to bed".

"Chinese food isn't healthy" Angela began to say.

"Mom, I'm not twelve anymore…".

Her mother seemed convinced. "Okay, but don't count on me when you'll be fat and sad because nobody wants you anymore, Jane".

Maura giggled.

Jane shot her a look.

Angela curiously watched the two of them interacting…

"Guess I'll go, I'll see you on Friday, your aunt is coming to visit…you know, Cecilia…".

"Ugh, mom, but she smells like cheese…".

"Jane! As you said, you're not twelve anymore. I'll see you on Friday, arguing with me won't take you anywhere. You still have some family duties, y'know".

"Okay, okay…".

Jane gave up: she knew she would have lost the argument, anyway. Plus, she was eager to spend some alone-time with Maura. (C'mon Angela, I love you but….just go!).

"Take care of yourself dear, and call me if you are fed up with my useless daughter. She can't cook an egg, you know? Have a nice evening".

"Thank you, you are far too kind. I'll see you soon" Maura smiled at her, and then Angela disappeared from the living room.

As Jane heard the sound of a door being closed, she said: "Thank God, she's gone".

"She cares a lot, you know?". Maura stood up, and reached her on the sofa, making herself comfortable, her head on Jane's shoulder. She breathed her scent, and tenderly stroked her palm.

In the end, she was happy Jane had turned down Angela's offer: she just wanted to be with her.

Just for a bit. She felt one of Jane's arm wrapping her, and she smiled contently: it was paradise, it was of this moment that, no matter how last, they were always too short.

"Yeah, I know. Sometimes she's just …too much. You know what I mean? But I love her…wait…".

A doubt suddenly crossed her mind…she realized it had been quite a long chat –the one with her mother. She wondered if…

"You…how much of our conversation have you heard?".

Maura blushed, which wasn't something Jane was used to see.

Seeing Maura wasn't answering and apparently didn't intended too, Jane slowly lifted Maura's chin with a finger, so that she could see her eyes. She knew that Maura just couldn't lie. She had to know…

"How much, Maura?"

"I wasn't…I swear I wasn't eavesdropping. I just….I didn't want to interrupt and…I may have heard something".

There was a brief silence…Jane patiently waited for Maura to speak.

"You know it's not you fault, Jane…please promise me you'll stay with me, please tell you won't be running away from me just because you feel guilty about what happened…".

And with that, Jane knew. Maura had heard every words. She knew her weakness…

She felt naked, betrayed.

"I think we have to talk…".

**So this is it, guys.**

**Love you soooooooooo much. And sorry, again Hopefully next chapter won't take as long as this one. O.o**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10.

"I think we have to talk".

"Okay, sweetie, let's talk…".

Jane seemed to be tense, and Maura knew that something wasn't quite right: she wanted nothing but to reassure her. So she reached for her hand and, when she was able to find it, she stroked her palm.

She moved closer and slowly captured Jane's lips with her own: it was a way to express how sorry she was.

She could sense that Jane was upset, she was good at reading facial expressions. What she couldn't foresee was Jane's reaction to her little, innocent gesture.

Jane stood up.

Like her hand was on fire, like her lips were burning.

Like her world was falling.

Like a bullet hit her in the stomach.

It was rough, and unexpected.

She suddenly felt nervous, and the close proximity of Maura's body surely didn't help.

So she practically jumped off the sofa, like a cat that's running from a particularly nasty dog. It was a spontaneous reaction.

She felt in danger she moved.

Maura missed Jane's body heat immediately, she missed her shoulder –her refuge- and her long, curly, extremely black hair that tickled her cheek like a caress. Her fulminous movement made her wince in surprise.

Jane too was surprised by her own actions: Maura wasn't certainly a dog. But –in that moment- she became something to be afraid of. It was completely illogical, but it was an impulse she had to follow. She surrendered to it, like a leaf to the power of the wind.

So, there she was, motionless and concerned, near the sofa, fidgeting with her hands, trying to make a decision she never thought she would have had to make.

Stay, or leave? –she was torn, and pulled by two forces towards two different directions-

She felt the urgency to run away. She wanted to regain her solitude and her stability.

What unsettled her the most wasn't the fact that Maura had eavesdropped. She didn't think she had done it on purpose, she didn't think she was being rude – Maura Isles could be described in a lot of ways, but she certainly wasn't a rude person .

No, there were consequences that were far more dangerous.

By hearing her conversation with Angela, it was like Maura had seen all the cracks in her shiny armour. She knew her weakness, she witnessed to her fragility.

Jane was too proud to be seen at her low. She couldn't bear when Korsak was over-protective, and now she felt like Maura cheated on her: she knew how much she cared about her. She knew how deep and potent was the nature of her feelings towards her.

Vulnerability hit her and took away all her layers, all her defences.

Apart from the physical discomfort due to Jane's sudden disappearance, Maura was confused as never in her life. She hated when she wasn't aware of things, when she wasn't able to comprehend the causes of events that happened around her. She was a control-freak.

She felt hurt, and refused: why had Jane ran away from her body like she had some kind of weird illness?

There she stood, alone, rejected from Jane like a body rejected a malfunctioning organ.

She knew –of course- that she was upset because Maura overheard the conversation between her and her mother. But why did she seem so…scared? Why did she look at the door like she wanted nothing but to go and never turn back?

Maura wanted to say something: she wanted to express herself and convince her not to leave.

But she seemed to have lost all her logic and ability to make coherent sentences. Gone was the brilliant Doctor, her wit and her fluent talk: she was nothing but a crumbling mess.

She had often noticed how Jane constantly killed her rationality. She was the only one who could, the only one that made her tremble with a kind of affection that was way beyond physical attraction. She made her act like a child, forget what she wanted to say.

So –trying to wipe away the tears that were slowly filling her eyes- she said: "Jane…please, stay".

With those three words, she begged her.

She couldn't say anything better, or stronger, or brighter.

Three words, and still her world depended on them.

Please, stay.

It was a prayer, it was everything she could offer…and God, she hoped it was enough.

Jane was tempted.

She was looking at the door, and every fibre in her body screamed at her to go away. She was torn in two half, like a useless piece of paper.

So Maura tried again, without changing a single word, and her tongue was on fire while she repeated: "Please, stay".

She also managed to add: "This is me".

Maura's voice sounded more like a whisper. It was nearly audible, but still, Jane was touched in her core. She took a deep breath, and made her decision: " I'm not going anywhere…".

At least, she would have tried.

Maura smiled, but no happiness reached her hazel eyes.

Jane didn't know what to do or what to say.

She opened her mouth, trying to say something –anything- but she was lost.

And then Maura asked her: "Sit with me".

The fear returned, like a thunder in the stomach. Jane tried to control it.

"Jane…I swear I won't touch you with a finger, if that's what you are afraid of. I just want you to come here, look me in the eyes and explain what's going on. Give me your time, and I will give you mine".

Maura was scared she wouldn't have been able to convince her, but then she saw her moving and her heart melted. Jane made two tentative steps towards her, then slowly positioned herself on the couch. Maura noticed that she was cautions, like she wanted to keep some distance. She would have tried to respect that, but sure she couldn't deny it: she was hurt by Jane's behaviour.

"Speak to me", she said to her, regaining some confidence: Maura wasn't intentioned on screwing everything up. She wanted Jane. She had wanted her for a long time, and she was gonna fight until Jane told her it was useless to do that.

"I…it's complicated".

"You know it's not enough, Jane. What are you afraid of?". She noticed Jane was avoiding her gaze. "Please, look me in the eyes and tell me. What the hell is going on? Cause, frankly, I have no idea. Is it because I've heard you speaking with your mum? I thought I had already apologized for that".

"It's not just about that. It's…I can't…".

"Jane, eyes on me".

And then they met. Eye to eye, and it was like a battle and there was noise inside of their heads, and it was powerful and terrifying. But Maura didn't look away, she didn't run from such an unknown intensity. Instead, she jumped, she dived in Jane's eyes, willing to understand what was making them so dark and elusive.

"What are you afraid of?".

The answer was darker then Jane's eyes, deeper then their distance.

"You really wanna know?".

"Yes, Jane. More than anything, I wanna know".

"Don't tell me I didn't warn you…". Jane was holding over.

"You can't make me leave you, even if you want to I am not going anywhere". Maura replied, and truth was in her eyes and in her voice.

"It's you. I am completely, utterly terrified by you, Maura Isles".

And with that, it like Jane gave away the last layer that covered her. She renounced to her annoying pride, to her fake confidence. It was an unspoken promise that said: I'm not hiding any more. I'm not avoiding this feeling any longer. That was it: with those words, with that confession, she gave to Maura her soul. She hoped so much to receive hers in return…


	11. Chapter 11  Fire, Ice, Tomatoes

Chapter 11.

It was 7.30 in the morning and Jane was fully clothed and ready to go outside…but, God how she wished she could have stayed with Maura just a little more…

Maura was still in bed, and she had looked so peaceful in her sleep that she didn't have the heart to wake her up. She'd left her a note, so that she could know where she was.

Jane had to go to work early, otherwise she would have lost every chance to regain Korsak's trust.

Screwing everything up was no longer an option: she had to be perfect, and that meant she had to be the first to arrive and the last one to leave when her job was concerned.

Knowing that she eventually would have met Maura down at the morgue helped her; she finally went out, silently closing the door behind her, while happy memories of the night before filled her head.

_After Jane's long, hearted speech, Maura sat still on the sofa, watching her with a wide range of emotions running through her face. Jane wasn't able to say what she was thinking or feeling, and that made her wanna scream and throw punches to the walls._

_Then, as fast as Jane had, Maura stood up._

"_Wait! Where are you going?"._

"_Just….wait a minute, I'll be back. I need you to understand something"._

_Maura disappeared in the kitchen for a while, and Jane was afraid she had decided to go away. _

_She knew she didn't have to say those things to her…_

_It was too much, it was too soon._

_But then Maura returned, smiling while holding something in her hands, clearly trying to hide it between her back._

_She sit on the sofa and looked at her with a strange grin plastered on her face. "Close your eyes"._

_Jane looked at her, confused, raising an eyebrow. _

"_C'mon Jane, trust me just a little bit, would you?"._

_And so Jane closed her eyes, wondering what was that about._

"_Give me you hand"._

"_Only if you stop being that bossy" Jane joked, relieved that Maura was again in sight, next to her._

"_Don't be such a kid" said Maura, a playful grin on her lips._

_Jane obeyed, and stretched one of her arm in front of her , blindly searching for Maura's guide._

_She felt two fingers on her wrist: they were gentle, and Jane surrendered to their touch immediately. _

_But then, just under her palm, she felt a strange warmness coming towards her, like a wave of fire. It began as a pleasant sensation, but then the fire was far too close…she felt her hand burning…_

"_What the…?"._

_She opened her eyes and saw Maura holding a match. It was still lighted._

"_What the hell? Are you trying to kill me or something?"._

_Maura blew out the flame, still smiling that creepy smile of hers._

"_That…is how I feel every time you are too close._

_You are like magma, and when your skin is on mine –even if it's the softest, most innocent touch- that flame…well, that's the feeling I get. It could be a hand on my shoulder when we are working, a playful punch, every thing. You're not the only one who's terrified by what's happening, Jane. Since words couldn't convince you, I thought that maybe…with something more…physical…"._

_Maura blushed, like she realized suddenly what a stupid idea she had. _

_But Jane found it quite fascinating, so she said: "As long as you don't kill me, I'm okay with it"._

_Maura didn't seem fully convinced. "You sure?"._

"_You can do what you want with me". And it was true._

"_Thanks, cause I'm not finished yet. Please, close your eyes again"._

_Jane obeyed a second time: she was nervous because she didn't know what to expect. _

_She sensed Maura's body closing the gap between them, she could feel her breath, her scent was suffocating her. _

_It started from her neck: it seemed like Maura was caressing her skin with an ice cube._

_Jane instantly lifted her eyelids: it was, in fact, an ice cube, that Maura was holding with her slender fingers._

_God, she really didn't see that coming…_

"_Eyes closed, Jane, or you are going to ruin my experiment". _

_She nodded and shut her eyes immediately._

_Jane felt the ice moving softly on her skin, and winced because of the sudden cold. It went under her shirt, on her shoulder, on her jaw…leaving a cold trace behind. She had the feeling that Maura was following a precise path. _

_On her pulse point…_

_Under her chin…_

_and on her lips._

_She was mesmerized by its movements. Shivers ran down her spine, and the impulse was to try and subtract herself from the icy source._

_She didn't. She resisted because she knew Maura was really trying to tell her something._

_Maura positioned the ice cube on her left breast, where the heart was._

_It was absurd, a paradox impossible to solve: never had she felt so turned on AND uneasy in her whole life. _

_When the cold became unbearable, she opened her eyes, and Maura let the nearly consumed ice cube fall on the carpet._

"_This…is how I feel when you are away. Everything around me freezes in an instant, and I find it hard to breath". Jane gulped._

"_It's not an easy confession for me to make. I…I always relied on myself. I used to think that nothing outside of my skin could influence me, I thought I was made of metal. _

You have to understand…it is a completely new thing to me…realizing I can't be independent anymore, knowing that there's someone out there that influence my mood, my life, my actions".

_Then, Maura took something that was laying on the sofa behind her back._

_It was a little tomato, and Jane was so confused she wanted to laugh. _

_She controlled herself, though, 'cause the last thing she wanted was for Maura to stop what she was currently doing. She was completely hypnotized by her words and her gestures._

_Maura covered Jane's hand with hers, so that they were both holding the tomato. Jane could feel its smooth peel under her fingertips._

"_Before meeting you, I was lonely. I had no one. My mother –as you might have noticed- was not a particularly affectionate _parent. _Everything I had was my brain, my wit…my world was my school, my friends were my A grades. Then, when I finally began to work, my job was my life. Sure, I had money, and I dated men. But…I was like an empty shell. Still, I was okay with it. I was rational, I was a brilliant medical examiner, I was good at what I did, I excelled. _

_I thought I had it all…but this" and as she was talking, she mashed the tomato in her hands, and __the juice__came out__from it__like blood-__ "is what you, Jane, did to me._

_You…mashed me. _

_I wasn't a human being anymore, I was clay in your hands. I suppose that this person I turn into when I'm with you was buried within me since I was born. I just didn't know how to be that person._

_You didn't know me before, so perhaps you can't really perceive how I changed because of you._

_It__ was a __quick__, __violent__blossoming. It was a sudden spring._

_I believed in physics. I believed in electrons, and in everything that could be proved. I believed in hormones and I saw love as result of chemistry reactions. _

_And than you came into my life, unannounced…and you were such a stranger, fascinating creature that my stupid brain couldn't even begin to analyse. You were a shining, unknown object that was covered in a cloud of mystery. I didn't fully understand you, because you were so different from every person I had met before. You were written in another language, and that bothered me. I was like a chemist that found out a new element. At first, I was very suspicious. I watched you, keeping my distance, because you were radioactive. I thought that maybe time would have lessen my affection. I was, of course, wrong. Day after day, you trapped me, and here I am._

_You saved my life, Jane. I know, as you do, that this thing going on between the two of us is an earthquake. It is breathtaking, most of the time, but it holds such a strength that it can be overwhelming, sometimes. I can understand why you panicked before. But maybe, if you just could see that I am weak as you are –in this matter- it would be easier for you to accept what is happening. Whatever it is._

_What I'm trying to say with my rambling is that if we just have a little patience and we go through this together, we'll have more chance to survive. This connection has the potential to be a beautiful, life-changing earthquake. For us both"._

_When she finished, relief washed away Jane's fears._

_Maura perfectly managed to express herself, and by doing that so openly and sincerely, Jane's doubts were killed on the spot._

_She wanted to say something, but all she could do was smile like an idiot._

_Then Maura did something that surprised her further. _

_She brought Jane's hands to her mouth and licked away all the tomato juice that had remained from earlier._

_Her tongue was slow and rough. It was the sexiest thing ever, she just couldn't control herself._

_Jane pushed her so that Maura's back collided with the couch, and hungrily attacked her lips like her life depended upon it._

_Maura responded, and with that kiss, they sealed everything that had been said before._

_When they both needed air, they parted. _

"_It's late, I should go…" Maura said, still breathing heavily. _

_They were nose to nose, Jane didn't want to loose such a welcomed, rebuilt intimacy. _

"_Stay…"._

"_I don't know If it is a great idea…"._

"_It's not like we have to…y'know…" Jane blushed, but continued nonetheless._

"_Look, we are both tired and you have some clothes here, so tomorrow when you wake, you won't have to go and grab something to put on from your flat…"._

_Maura silently agreed; Jane took her hand and together they went upstairs. _

_Sharing a bed with Maura was definitely something she was eager to do._

_She wanted her body –not in the sexual way. She just wanted to feel her heart beat, to be surrounded by her hair, to feel her legs brushing against her when she moved in her sleep._

"_Do you need a…?"._

_Jane was going to say pyjama, but when she turned away from her wardrobe to face her, she saw Maura who was already undressing herself. She remained in bra and knickers and it was the most beautiful scene she had ever assisted to._

"_I won't need no clothes if I have you" she said._

_And with that, they both collapsed on the bed._

_Maura's closeness wasn't a problem anymore…Jane wrapped her arm protectively around her, kissing her on the shoulders._

"_Night…" she whispered…and then sleep had the best on her._

Yup, it had been definitely an eventful evening. Jane was still thinking about it, sitting in front of her desk, when the telephone rang, making her jump on her chair.

"Rizzoli".

…

"Yeah, we're coming".

Nothing like a homicide was able to kill her good mood instantly.

She had to go…duty was calling her.


End file.
